What David Dein would call "Irreconcilable Differences"

Jose Mourinho calls it "Mutual Consent". I too have quit like the self dubbed "Special One" from my clan, in probably the same fashion he did. Does anyone honestly believe Mourinho quit quietly?? I'd bet against that, furniture was probably flung around. His departure from Stamford Bridge is a reason to celebrate, since before him, Chelsea were nothing, and probably after him, they'll be nothing as well. Of course, now there will be no one to throw tantrums on the sidelines, break laptop screens, bypass UEFA match bans and sneak more dogs past immigrations.

I too dislodged myself from my clan in a similar fashion. I joined only because of Tim, and my first impressions of them weren't very good already. So finally, I decided I would exit, but while I was at it, spit out all that I thought was just dumb about it. I left a few constructive comments, all written on grenades. Tim thinks my fiery thread was unnecessary, but hey, whats going to happen?? Even if they lived near me, am I supposed to be scared of a bunch of nerds?? I could probably give the more muscular 18 year-old ones in real life a good run for their money.

Reasons why I left
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1. Their PKing (Player Killing) strategies as horrible, as well as the Pkers themselves. On my first trip with them, some guy wore metal armour to go maging. For the laymen, thats like wearing a fur coat to go swimming. And they let some stranger join the clan group. Judging by his stats, he could have killed a good number of people if he decided to backstab. Turned out he was a spy for another clan. They spend much of the trip camping at a deserted spot for an hour doing nothing, then getting decimated by a gang of level 100's in less than a minute.

2. Some of their members are real douche bags. One of them, Demongirl, is "socially deprived". Quoted from Timothy. Coming from a guy who exists only to play RuneScape and study, that gives a good idea of how sad she is. For months, she had a crush on Timothy, without ever seeing his face, then cried and whined when she found out he removed her from his friends list because she's such an annoying whore. She skips school to play RuneScape (Oh Sweet Mother Of Christ...), and has that Ryan Singh-ish ability of trying to get attention when in fact everyone just thinks you're an annoying bastard. Judging by the photo she posted, she looked like the girl in Hairspray, but not that fat. Too many jerks for me to list, and the laymen wouldn't understand it anyway.

3. Few people actually took the clan seriously. Plenty of noobs just join and never appear again.

4. They don't enforce clan rules well. The leader, Tiz, is a real life friend to Tim and a nice guy, but you see, thats the problem, he's too nice. He acts like he's running the UN, not a PKing clan.

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And what's this?? I hear that some members share my views, though they didn't post it. Of course, they told me in private, and I'm not going to say. I could have toppled the entire social structure and torn the clan apart with certain secret information not known to all, but out of respect to Tim and Tiz, I will not flay the clan apart.

Anyway, its a good thing I quit, exams have finally arrived. I was pretty worried when I woke up with a sore throat, but I still got through the English paper. Wasn't exactly smooth sailing, but it was okay. I hope the teachers don't test out what I wrote in my essay though, I said the cineplex at the HDB hub was teeming with patrons, but in actual fact, its pretty deserted. Then again, this is a theory exam, and since all my reasons prove that theoretically business should be good, I think I'm safe. The campaign has not gotten off to a good start, but don't forget, United's worst start under Sir Alex resulted in them winning the Treble, a feat unrepeated by any club in the world.