WTF...Where Did That Come From?

Yesterday, I had the dubious privilege of consciously watching myself fall sick with fever. While most enlightening actually feeling the fever take over, it wasn't fun. Definitely wasn't fun.

Usually, one wakes up with the said illness, but in the space of an hour I went from cursing the Economics independent worksheet to a shivering wreck on the floor.

First sign was the chills. I was resisting the urge to start up TF2/SwiftKit while doing the damned worksheet when I suddenly felt really, really cold. Which was weird, given how it supposed to be a hot day.

I realized something was wrong when the headache came in. That was definitely something wrong, I actually slept the night before.

It all proceeded to fall to shit from there. My parents found me a shivering wreck under my blanket with the windows closed and fans off at 30 degrees.

By the time I reached the clinic my temperature was 38.5, which I realized, even in my connection-lost-to-reality-attemtping-to-re-establish state, was a record. Normally, I abnormally low temperatures (<36) because the thermometer I bring is probably broken and only for show.

While the doctor admitted I was in bad shape, he seemed pretty certain it wasn't H1N1. So that means no 7 day holiday for anyone in contact with me.

My 7 day MC however, means I miss the CWC session this week. I feel *really* guilty about having joined but never going because of training, but even when I can go, something else turns up. (First Chinese A-Level oral, followed by this).

A Conversation

We need to talk. It's apparent that your problems have gotten out of hand.

Leave me alone...

You sure about that one? You can't seem to make up your mind about that one...

I know...

I know you tried to interact with them, but let's face the facts. Most of the time you've got nothing to say to them. And kid, it's made you miserable for a long time now.

No kidding...

And the worst thing is your indecision. Sure, you've sworn to be a lone wolf, just disconnecting yourself entirely from them, as far as possible. But you keep holding out in case that might change.

Hey, what can I say, I'm an optimist. Or at least I used to be.

Why exactly do you hate them so much anyway?

I don't hate them...

Hate's a bit strong I guess, but you definitely don't like 'em. I see many things too, just like you do.

Of course you do genius, you're me...

When you were sixteen. From happier times. And answer my question.

I don't know...it's just that whenever I'm around them, I just feel so damned edgy and uncomfortable... I just don't feel happy around them. Something about a lot of them just irritates me...

Well, whatever it is, it's getting serious. You're perpetually moody and listless because of it. And that in turn, causes you to not feel like doing anything. Especially study. You got butchered at the Terms, and even though it was a mix of carelessness and crap luck, you still shouldn't have crashed so spectacularly. Hell, it's even affecting your ability to write. Look at your posts since you got here. They're missing something.

I know, I know... The odd thing is that it's just them that this problem turns up with. I'm perfectly okay with everyone else I've met, but I can go through a day without saying a word to any of them.

Atrophy could be the reason for your writing's malaise.

Yeah...

You miss Sam, Bryant, Moses and the rest don't you?

Good that you noticed Captain Obvious. Moses is in CJ, Sam's in Australia and Bryant might as well be there with him, busy as he is these days. At least I still see Tim K often enough online, but still...

Back to the original reason why I'm talking to you. You can either continue trying to fit in, or strike out alone. You can of course, remain in the transition stage you're in now, but a fat load of good that's done you. The first option has no guarantee of working, and being the calculative being you are, I guess I know what you'll pick.

I have no qualms about being a lone ranger, but then that might ruin...

Your chances with her? Honestly, mate, the best way to go back to the relaxed state of life that you operate best in is to just disconnect yourself from everything, and you're seriously holding this up for one girl? You could fix everything that's gone wrong!

Sounds much like one of those chick romance novels. Lulz. But you're right.

Meh, I knew I was always a sensible bugger. So, now will you walk the Path of the Ranger?

Yes! Now give me my camo-cloak and mini-brightlance/sniper rifle. Wait, actually, you can keep the rifle, Rangers still suck major ass, even in DoW2.

Seriously? Damn.

Yeah, they do, but Guardians are actually useful these days. But they removed Dark Reapers.

Like topping Haagen-Daas ice cream with pond scum... Sigh, hopefully Relic will get it right one day. But listen man, just remember, do the right thing, and don't forget that you are special. Srsly. Egoistical as it is, it's how you thrived and survived back then, and that's how you'll repeat that here. But really, you know you aren't normal, and not in a bad way. Don't forget. It's all going to be alright from here on.

But what about her?

Sigh, I'm still a poet and romantic at heart aren't I? Well, didn't chicks dig rebels and such?

You're speaking from a total lack of experience. But meh, odds are you're right.

You seem to have taken that rather easily. I'm surprised.

I took my happy pills 8 )

Nice to see you in a bright mood again. Now, off you go, and finish up the tutorial on M.I okay?

Will do! Bye!

Bye!