What a Wonderful Week

I'm telling you, this week is terrific. I stand with 4A1s to my record, having found out I got A1s for both Phyiscs and Chemistry as well, second only to Kevin. Lit was not a ground zero disaster, after Mrs. Ang moderated everyone's papers, allowing me to get a B4, Bryant an A1, and Sam an A2. Can't really complain when 65% of the class failed initially. With an average of 78.1 at the moment, I have finally achieved some real academic success in SJI in the three arduous years I've been here. I could have tied with Kevin for top in Chem. For one question, the correct answer for the pH was 13. I initially wrote 13, but felt it was an unlucky number, so I changed it to 12, which was wrong. Still, Then again, destiny has given me so much already, I've beaten people like Andrew and Chris K at maths and science, and it would be greedy of me to ask for more. I just hope History and Chinese don't drag my average down too much....

This term is one of many opposites. While more hardworking and better students like Kee Hao failed to fire in Chemistry, people like Jialei, a true epitome of slack and a wonderful specimen of a DotA addict, gets 33 out of 40. While I am still half a mark higher and escape the shame of being beaten by the one who lives and breathes DotA but isn't that good anyway, I'm just puzzled at how he managed.... Adhitya claimed at the recess queue that his secret to doing well was watching porn the night before. I want to believe the contrary to be true, and hope that he does try that again, and hopefully, wanks all his brains out hours before the test. Twisted bastard....

Dad is also in Melbourne, so that leaves me with a lot of free reign after the exams. Also managed to wangle a berth to OBS Sabah, since they overbooked for the Ubin trip. The only taint to this wonderful week is United's tragic loss at the Manchester Derby to City. After a long range effort from City's Brazilian player maker Elano, United squandered chance after chance. With both Rooney and Ronaldo unable to play, United relied on Tevez and Nani to deliver the goods, passing long balls to the wings in an attempt to make full use of Nani's agility. It did not good, and United were sent home 1-0 losers, and five points adrift of Chelsea, who thankfully only managed a draw against Liverpool at the Kop.


While extremely bored today, I suddenly had the urge to draw up a Slummer Army. Urged on by Sam as he found it amusing, I expanded a little on it.

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Slummer Army of Liberators (SAL)
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Long long in the future, on our very own Earth, fascism somehow managed to seize control of the world stage, and now a government called the Submit and Prosper (SAP) rules the entire planet, making every single decision for the citizens of the world, from what they wore to work to what they ate. All who opposed were thrown into a special "Undesirables" Zone somewhere in Death Valley, after being exposed to nuclear radiation to make them stupid, and hopefully unable to think of a way back.

However, these people became so stupid, they occasionally overshot the absolute stupidity mark, and went back into pure genius, but still spent much of their time being absolute retards. Using their newfound intelligence, this new race, self-dubbed the Slummers, built a small underground city and lived in relative peace, excavating the city by eating away the rock walls, this wondrous ability given to them from the nuclear radiation. Their mutation also gave them a craving and need for mayonnaise at constant intervals, which they slaked with huge stores of surplus mayonnaise from the US army buried after Desert Storm which they found while excavating their city.

In one of their lapses into genius, Slummers discovered that mayonnaisium is actually the 116th element, a magical element which had various strange qualities, and produces tenfold the energy of uranium when combined with MSG, which was also buried in large quantities by the US army after Desert Storm. Using this new mayonnaisium energy, the Slummers managed to create a beautiful cosmopolitan city, resemblant of NYC a hundred years ago, all powered by the giant mayonnaisium reactors towering over their subterranean Utopia. However, with great power comes great responsibility, which Slummers don't have in much quantity, and so, adapted their mayonnaisium technology into weapons of war, from mayonnaisium powered armour and artillery units to Mayo Monstrosities, 15 foot tall horrors made of living mayo encased in armour. Some had become so united with the mayonnaisium they learnt to manipulate it with their minds. Provided they weren't in stupid mode of course.

However, because people were either too dumb or too smart at any one point of time to fight over petty things like who gets elected next, they all lived in peace, and therefore couldn't give a shit about the outside world, preferring to live mayo-filled lives in harmony with their fellow Slummers, the weapons all in hangars, and the Mayo Monstrosities becoming household pets in many Slummer households.

Until the day which they heard mayonnaise had been banned by the SAP because it made people fat. In an outrage, they vowed to free the world above from the tyranny for not being able to choose what to eat, and so emerged from the ground and marched forth with their mayonnaisium arsenal with the noble mission of ridding the world of SAP and give people the freedom to eat as much mayo as they wanted.
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