Must you put it that way?

Common test begins on Monday, starting with Elective History and Physics. So far so good, I looked through the old Mid-Year Exam Papers, they seem okay, though the number of multiple choice questions surprises me. Hope they do the same for this one. I actually intended to study in the library after school today, but Chris and Co. convinced me to play soccer till about 3.30pm. My bag felt like a frigging payload since we had to clear out all our stuff from the desks today, and I wasted a few minutes trying to fit my bloated bag into one of the lockers. Finally, I gave up and reasoned with myself that Mr. Sydney Tan would probably break his back trying to haul it away like he does to all bags outside the library that aren't in lockers. Headed to the CC when the librarian chased everyone out during closing time, and encountered that little squirt Russell.

Little background info on this guy, he joined rugby last year, towering at a grand height of about 150cm and weighing 50kg, boasting that he'd probably feature in the squad this year, and preposterously predicted that he'd become captain by next year. He lasted about a month, from which he suffered and complained about everything from grass rash covering his entire torso, the inability to last more than 2 rounds, and his insane fear of.......flies.
Bugger was tagging along with Hambali, who was playing cards at the CC cafeteria. Tiny pipsqueak's got to watch the company he keeps....

I began my usual Friday night, which is on the com, my way of compensating for lack of free time. I was on Runescape (Yes, I play, please for God's Sake, don't laugh), and happened to chance upon good old Timmy, my friend who has become one with the game. Apparently he does this too. He read Homeward Bound on the previous post, and gave it a pretty good review as well. However, thats where the good bit ends. In response to me usurping the substitute teacher, he put it down to diligence rather than intelligence, and said I may be good when it comes to prose, but was probably not so in maths, science and logic.

Naturally I was hurt. I couldn't believe a good friend of two years could say that. Haven't I proved time and again in 202, and even now, that I am at least close to him in standard for these three things??? Listen Dim, I may be in 322, and you in 333, but listen and listen good, maths and science are up my alley. I got 4 A1's last year. And what were they in??? Maths, Biology, Chemistry and English. The only reason I'm here in a bloody Double Science Double Humanities class and not up there with you is because I failed Physics last year, and my HUMANITIES dragged my average down. It hasn't been easy accepting that. It'll probably won't be for a long time. I've never truly succeeded since the day I stepped into this school, and I admit some of that was my own fault, like floating my way through Sec 1. I rushed all the way in Sec 2. I thought I made it. Then I was told I didn't. I hate that most, getting my hopes up that high, for nothing. Everytime I think about this, I just want to lash out at something, someone. Especially those who don't know what its like. I just can't concentrate on anything when someone reminds me of this, let alone poke at it. I can't do homework, I can't study, I can't play properly. I turn moody, violent even. I rip of the mask of a happy clown I wear around all the time. And its only going to stop when I've proven not just to my peers, but to the whole world, that I'm more than what you've made me out to be. You picked a really bad time to say all that Tim. If you were anyone else, they'd be watching sunrise through the tangles of IV tubing. I'll acknowledge that you are academically better than me, but I'm not that far off. So please, don't treat me like an idiot. I act like one most of the time, but if you really were my friend for these years, you'd know its another mask I wear, like so many others.